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Bee

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PostSubject: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:20 am

Is it still a requirement for Shabbat to make challah if by myself and hubby is away? This is the first time we are not together for Shabbat and I have no idea if I just light the candles since he is not here for the dinner, prayers and blessings. Do I still need to do them for myself? or can I get away with just the candles and prayer? What do you do when away from home? I got traveling shabbat candle holders for our aniversary, but what is the protocal when away from home or apart from each other like today?
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esf

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:12 am

If you're planning on having a shabbat meal, and observing shabbat, why wouldn't you say the kiddush and motzi? Are you asking if women are allowed to, even though it might usually fall to the man to say those blessings? (If that is your question, then I think the answer is yes, for all except maybe the ultra-orthodox)
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Bee

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:55 am

I just didn't know if a solo person can do it. I know its a mitzvot for a woman to make challah and light the candles but I didn't know if its still a mitzvot to make challah and kiddish blessing if I am alone. I also didn't know a woman could, I never asked since hubby never missed a Shabbos. Thanks for letting me know on that. I have no kids yet so it feels weird doing this alone. I was thinking of eating out then coming home to light candles and study.
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tamar

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:13 pm

In my family my daughter and I light the candles and my son says the blessing over the wine ( kosher grape juice ) and we all say the blessing over the challah. A tradition we have in our home is everyone touches someone who is touching the challah. that way we are all connected as a community. It is a tradition my lay led community has when we all meet for services. I buy my challah every week but someday now that I have a better mixer may attempt again to make challah.

Anyway the man does not have to be at home. In many traditional homes the men go to shul and the women stay home and light the candles and the men return home.

With sunset happening so early we light the candles, say the blessing over wine and challah and then eat dinner. I go to shul later, I take the kids when I go on Saturday.


One thing to keep in mind is that when you are learning about Judaism you are not expected to know everything. I have lots of books on my shelf that I can use for information. The rules of how we do rituals are good but if you worry about all the rules then I think sometimes what you gain is lost. I am speaking from a more liberal interpretation, but I do feel that as we learn we grow in understanding of the rituals and how they are done. I have made mistakes along the way but I just make corrections then move on. I have added as I go along so I don't feel overwhelmed.




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Dena

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 3:34 pm

I never make challah. In fact, I have never made it. That being said, here is no reason that I know of that you shouldn't go ahead as you normally would. Do you have a friend you could invite over? I know spending Shabbat alone can be lonely as I've done it many, many times.

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Mychal

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:45 pm

Yes, you still celebrate Shabbas, even if you are alone. Although you might want to look at the free website shabbat.com. It's like a dating site, only instead of helping you meet other singles, it helps you meet other Jews to share a Shabbas meal with. You might want to go ahead and put yourself on it so that, in the future, if you know you're going to be alone, you can either invite others to join you or you can find someone to go to.
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Dena

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:49 pm

I wouldn't advise a woman alone invite others to her home for dinner. Maybe join someone else. Very Happy
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Mychal

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:01 pm

You know, though, you're safer in your own home than in someone else's. I know where all the guns are stashed in our house. >:-)

Actually, Shabbat.com allows people to give/get recommendations/references from others, for safety's sake. You might find someone on the list who has been given the thumbs-up from someone you know--like your rabbi.

I found out about a local potluck group that meets roughly once a month through Shabbat.com.

The other option--if your hubby is away fairly regularly--is to say something to the rabbi about wanting to find a family in the congregation to share a meal with when you'll otherwise be alone.
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mikedoyleblogger

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PostSubject: Re: If away on Shabbos   Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:24 pm

Bee wrote:
I just didn't know if a solo person can do it. I know its a mitzvot for a woman to make challah and light the candles but I didn't know if its still a mitzvot to make challah and kiddish blessing if I am alone. I also didn't know a woman could, I never asked since hubby never missed a Shabbos. Thanks for letting me know on that. I have no kids yet so it feels weird doing this alone. I was thinking of eating out then coming home to light candles and study.

From my perspective, separating or taking challah is the mitzvah (commandment), and it applies to anyone who bakes a certain amount of dough. Separating is the taking of a small piece of challah and setting it aside/throwing it out/burning it (etc.), accompanied by appropriate blessings, in honor of the portion that used to be set aside to feed Temple priests. (You can Google specifics, of course.)

Baking challah is not commanded, but since there's no way to take challah without making dough, it became a minhag (custom) for women in traditional communities to bake challah for the Sabbath in order to be able to observe the mitzvah of taking challah.

That said, we aren't commanded to bake challah or to take challah on Shabbat specifically (your community's minhagim around this may vary.) If you choose to buy a loaf of challah from Trader Joe's or even use a leftover hamburger bun sitting in your refrigerator (decide for yourself whether and what hekscher these products should carry) in order to say the blessing over bread at your erev Shabbat table, that's perfectly fine.

Nothing is stopping your husband from baking the challah should he want to do so one week, too. Men bake challah and take challah all the time. I do both almost every week in my household.

Finally, while it's always sad to be separated from our loved ones on Shabbat, there's no reason you shouldn't observe its arrival in your usual manner even if alone. Frankly, lighting the candles and making the blessings can be a great comfort at moments like those.

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