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 I don't know what my further steps are

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Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-02-02

PostSubject: I don't know what my further steps are   Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:33 am

I' m going to convert in Reform movement. About one month I had a conversation with a wonderful women Rabbi about my conversion. I worried a lot and didn't convince her to accept me to the giyur preparement course.She said that she would return to the Ņonversation. I must have have a real motivation from her point of view. My faith in G-d it is very good but it isn' t a real motivation to become Jewish.
Now in a month of taking an active part in the community life I feel that a real motivation is to share my destiny with a Jewish nation.

I am studying and reading a lot but I don't what my further steps how to convince her, show that Judaism is my life and there is no another G-d and a way to live. Is it convenient to ask the rabbi to appoint a meeting in 3-4 months after the first meeting? Is there a tradition for a Reform rabbi to refuse a conversation 3 times?
I uderstand that each rabbi has its own conversion politics but I am worrying a lot and don't know how to behave right.
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Posts : 277
Join date : 2011-09-23
Location : Tennessee

PostSubject: Re: I don't know what my further steps are   Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:28 pm

I'm kind of surprised she wouldn't even let you into the class, seeing how learning more can make it clear whether you do or don't want to convert. (All of the intro/conversion classes I've heard about always come with the caveat that you are not obligated to convert after taking them, nor are you guaranteed a conversion.) Although, if the rabbi works with people on an individual basis, she may want to be pretty sure you're going to convert before devoting a lot of time.

Reform rabbis--per their convention's rules--aren't supposed to refuse three times, but that doesn't mean they won't do it. When I first tried to talk to my Reform rabbi, it took three times before I managed to pin her down and get an appointment. I don't know if that was intentional on her part or not, but "refusing" three times might take on subtle forms.

Something I did very early on, was start a list of everything I have studied. (My list: http://becomingjew.blog.com/about/) This way, if a rabbi asks me what sort of things I've been studying (if I can ever meet with one to ACTUALLY start the conversion process), I can show him/her the list. I think it demonstrates that I'm devoted to studying Judaism, and also shows the breadth and depth of topics that I've covered.

Putting together your own list might demonstrate to your rabbi that you've been seriously studying, and that you've studied a range of topics.

Personally, I made the decision to convert before I talked to a rabbi (that's certainly not a requirement; plenty of people make initial contact while they are still in the considering stage), and I've spent a lot of time studying on my own. I already consider myself a Jew, speak as a Jew, and live as a Jew (not as an observant Jew, by any means, but as a fledgling Jew); for me, the actual conversion process has become a technicality--something I must do so that Jews will recognize me as a Jew.

Just a suggestion, but you may want to spend enough time studying and thinking (journaling is also helpful), that you are so confident in your choice, you don't worry when you go to meet the rabbi again. While there are plenty of people who take their time working with a rabbi and openly worry, some rabbis see worry as doubt, and they may reject you because of that. So you may just want to study until you are confident of your choice, and instead of worrying about meeting your rabbi's or community's standards, you're convincing them what an awesome Jewish addition you will be to their shul.
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Join date : 2011-09-05
Age : 36

PostSubject: Re: I don't know what my further steps are   Thu Feb 09, 2012 2:08 pm

Staysa, it may help people to know you live outside of the United States. Sometimes there can be little differences in the way things are done. Very Happy
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Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-02-02

PostSubject: Re: I don't know what my further steps are   Thu Feb 09, 2012 4:57 pm

Dena, thank you very much. I live in Eastern Europe.
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