Godson

Hi guys,

I was raised Anglican, and when I was fourteen (ie before I knew what direction my life would take), my dear friend asked me to be godmother to her son. He's almost eight now and is one of the most important people in my life. I find that my relationship with him is really the only issue with my conversion that is making me pause to consider. It's not so much the title of "godmother" that interests me so much as continuing to be his auntie and following him throughout his life - but on the other hand, I don't want the family to think I am rejecting him, either. My love for him and place in his life is the only part of Christianity that really sticks with me. 

Here are some considerations:

1) I'm going to be Reform

2) They're not really religious, it was an "appease the grandparents" kind of baptism - so he is unlikely to be confirmed or really participate in the Church

3) I can still explain the Bible and the basics of Christianity to him if he asks, which he is unlikely ever to do, and include him in my new faith when appropriate - my intention was always to present him with an objective view of all that the worlds' religions have to offer him, rather than simply saying "Be a good Anglican" or whatnot. 

4) Anglicans generally care less about godparents and their requirements than Catholics do

So, guys, I want your opinions - can I continue to call myself his godmother? If not, is it okay to continue to be an "aunt"? How do I explain this transition to my friend, his mother?

Hi Rachael,

First of all, welcome on the forum!

The godmother question is interesting. If I am not mistaken, the godmother promises, at the baptism of a child, to help to raise the child as a christian and to teach him about the christian faith. Godparents are required to be christians for this very reason: they are expected to be examples for their godchildren. So technically I think a jewish godmother is...a very interesting paradox if not impossibe.

But that's theory :DThe family you speak about sounds like a kind of christian family I know well - they're into the 'values' of christianity, loving your neighbour and stuff, and probaby believe in 'something' but they are not very strict. Did I read this right? If this is the case, the godmother-bond was probably offered to you more as a token of your friendship with the family and of the role the parents desire you'll play in the life of their child (the role of a family member) than that they require you to talk christianity with the little one.
This is the feeling I get from your post, but maybe I interpreted way too much! My experience with protestantism is that there's generally a huge difference between what is said in church and what is said at home, and that much is possible ;) .

But. There's also the Jewish viewpoint. Others will be able to tell you more about this than this gentile, but as far as I have understood Jewish converts are required to leave behind them every token and every symbol of their former religion. They have to cut all bounds that bind them to that religion. I don't think that means cutting the bound with your friends, but I would say that it certainly involves not being a christian godparent.

Well. I think there are others much better placed to answer you than I am. Sorry.

Salvia

I was just thinking while I took my shower, this is really a topic you should discuss with the parents of the child. And if you're in the conversion process, with your rabbi. Ask the rabbi what would be considered ok for you to do, and discuss with the parents what would be acceptable to them within the possibiities you'll have as a jewish convert.

Maybe you could read the Tanakh/'Old Testament' with the boy. Or teach him Hebrew . Or just be a secular 'auntie' but discuss stuff with him, give him small pushes so that he will think on stuff and build his own opinion, give him the mental tools to think independantly... There are so many ways to help a child develop his own ideas without pushing a specific religion on him. Cause that's another thing: if you're Jewish you can't teach him christianity, but you're not expected to push your own religion either: Jews don't seek converts. But you COULD, I guess, help the boy on the path to finding his own truth. Just by talking with him and learning him to use his own judgment. I guess. That might be a nice compromise?

I do not know anything about being a godparent. What does it entail?

I agree with Salvia. I think your Rabbi would be best to ask.

In my opinion, I would say to keep up the "deeds" and drop the "creeds".

Dena, a godparent (at least in the Anglican church) makes the vows of Christianity on behalf of an infant being baptized. Older children are then confirmed, and make the vows themselves at that time. Traditionally, they also took the children if the parents died, though this practice is less common now. 

In practice, however, it's often a way to designate the special role someone might have in a child's life - a favorite uncle or a close friend or something - with little emphasis on religion apart from the ceremony. For example, only one of my three godparents has ever mentioned religion at all to me. This is especially true when the family's not all that religious, as is the case with my godson's parents. (To illustrate: My godson refuses to believe that the church is even open when it's not Christmas or Easter.)

Anyway, I will discuss with my rabbi and with the boy's family, but really, I'm quite certain I'll still be the same auntie-type person in his life that I was as an Anglican. If I can't be his godmother anymore, it will be sad to say goodbye to that, but it really won't change anything.

Sounds like you have found the solution yourself!
If the religious link wasn't the most important to start with, you can just stay that specia auntie you wanted to be.

GREAT!

RachaelMoscow wrote:

Dena, a godparent (at least in the Anglican church) makes the vows of Christianity on behalf of an infant being baptized. Older children are then confirmed, and make the vows themselves at that time. Traditionally, they also took the children if the parents died, though this practice is less common now. 

In practice, however, it's often a way to designate the special role someone might have in a child's life - a favorite uncle or a close friend or something - with little emphasis on religion apart from the ceremony. For example, only one of my three godparents has ever mentioned religion at all to me. This is especially true when the family's not all that religious, as is the case with my godson's parents. (To illustrate: My godson refuses to believe that the church is even open when it's not Christmas or Easter.)

Anyway, I will discuss with my rabbi and with the boy's family, but really, I'm quite certain I'll still be the same auntie-type person in his life that I was as an Anglican. If I can't be his godmother anymore, it will be sad to say goodbye to that, but it really won't change anything.

In that case, perhaps you should just speak with the parents.