Dear Debbie,
you've started quite a complex topic of which I was always thinking so much. Of course that we shouldn't automatically link Reform Judaism approaches to the lower level of observance practices (and we shouldn't make those kind of associations in any case, after all!), but you've mentioned one thing that I see as very important - the part of "making choices". I'm sure that this is, of course, not the same for every Reform Jewish person, but the Reform Jews with whom I interacted most frequently saw observances as something they chose, thinking of their choice as made out of understanding and loving the path which was given to Jewish people. For Orthodox Jews it doesn't always function like that, as I'm aware of (I'm converting Conservative in a Modern Orthodox community, so my experiences are drawn from that source, and I personally stand somewhere at the Conservadox point of the spectrum, more or less [although the strict lines sometimes don't really work in the denomination self-expression] - this part of "Conservative in a Modern Orthodox community" is a another story - I can explain it some other time).
Of course I am always trying to understand and learn why I am doing or not doing something, and of course I love the path I was brought to, the path that I chose, and I love it so much. But as I learned more and more about Judaism, I also developed great respect and trust for all the mitzvot that have been given - in other words, first of all, I do something (even if I don't quite understand why I would do it in the first place, and what is the function of that mitzvah in nowadays life, in my life), and then I seek to understand. Of course, even better is when I already understand it from previous learning. First doing then thinking about it is not, as I see it, a kind of "blind doing just because it is said", but after all, it is a doing "because it is said". And of course, even all that doing leaves you with a lot of space to think through the "rules", to know it, to pass through it, even to bend it here or there, not moving them from their initial position (which is very important!; that is the magic of Judaism, which mostly functions as a set of laws) and find your own meaningful path that brings you in harmony with those fixed points.
So, to cut the story short, I do/don't do because I am obligated to. You can express it in different ways for sure, but we (are obligated to) keep mitzvot because we are Jews; we are not Jews because we chose to keep mitzvot - that's pretty much how it functions after the mikveh.
I'm very opened for discussion and I'm looking forward to different opinions, of course!
Thank you, Debbie, for starting a great topic.