Hello everyone! First of all, I would like to apologize, but I hesitate to give my real name here since it is a public forum. With that being said, you could probably find it if you try
. I don't mean to be difficult...but after reading my intro, perhaps you'll be able to understand...
I'm a 32 y/o Black woman who first discovered Judaism when I was 14 years old. Back then, my father had books on Judaism laying around (he's just a knowledge freak...I don't think he was studying it)...and I brought my own books (a Tanakh, some books on Jewish history & conversion) around that time. After reading about the various movements, I decided that Reform was the best fit. I hadn't formally converted yet, but I was active in Hillel in college. After college I moved to Miami. This is when and where all sorts of things changed.
In FL I found a Reform congregation and converted pretty quickly. Then I discovered Aish HaTorah. I started participating in the Orthodox community and went on to pursue a conversion with them. The next year I went to Israel (on a Birthright trip; courtesy of my Reform conversion). However the Orthodox conversion was proving itself to be very elusive. It took me 6 years from my first meeting with an Orthodox rabbi until my trip to the mikveh (which actually happened outside of FL).
My experience in the Orthodox Jewish community was invaluable in regards to my growth and education as a Jew; however it was also very damaging psychologically. With that being said, I neither encourage or discourage others from converting to Judaism. All I can speak about is my own experiences. And I would not wish what I had to go through on anyone else.
For me, I love the Torah; I love the Jewish people and Israel. I believe that I am a continual work-in-process and that halacha and the wisdom of our Sages contains some crucial keys to success in our lives and also in formulating a strong connection to Hashem. But I struggled with many social issues that are present within Orthodox Judaism. I am the type of person that embraces the world...that sees the beauty in all things.
No one Jewish denomination fits me...and I'm ok with that. I had to formally leave my Orthodox shul when I started dating my non-Jewish boyfriend. I always thought that it would be impossible to share a home and life with a non-Jew. But when the non-Jew is not religious and accommodating....it removes many of the barriers.
In spite of not being an advocate for, or speaking against conversion, I love to help others. When I was going through the process, stories of encouragement and helpful advice were invaluable to me. So I'm always more than willing to offer that to others (if they want it).
Nice to meet all of you!