I want a Jewish family, but my conversion is Reform

I'm Rina, a 30 year married woman and my conversion is Reform. I live in Russia, most of my community are women and girls. I want to get married and start a Jewish family. Jewish by birth don't want to date with me because my conversion isn't Orthodox. There is no opportunity to make an Orthodox conversion because our beit bin is Chabad Lubavich and they don't accept gerim. I consider myself Conservative and try to observe even sometimes don't drive on Shabbat.

Dear Rina,

I think that the possible solutions of your question lay in what you think on an issue "who/what is Jewish".

If you think/feel that the only acceptable solution for you is to marry an Orthodox JBB (Jewish by birth) person, then having an Orthodox conversion yourself might be a solution.

The question of being Jewish is a very wide one and very complex. It can be reduced to strict halachic authority answer, or it can be posed from a different angles of different denominations and cultural heritages. It's just that you should define where you see yourself at that palette, and to act towards it.

In the other words, if you think that for you only the Orthodox Jewish life is valid/acceptable, go for it, or, otherwise, try to change your habitat for the one that gives you more opportunity to meet other Reform and Conservative Jewish people and to see how you would interpret your situation then.

But anyway, the key is, I think, what you think and feel about everything.

Sarit makes a really good point. You don't need to let others define for you what Judaism is or who is a Jew and who isn't. You can decide and you can join a community that meets your own values and beliefs. That said, I know something like that is easier to do in a place like the US or the UK than where you live now. What I can tell you is that communities of the type you're looking for do exist. But it may mean moving to find one, which I acknowledge is not an easy thing to do in your country.

Michael and Benami thank you for answers. Unfortunately, I don't have any opportunity to move now, but I plan to move to Western Europe in several years.

Have you ever considered an orthodox conversion or is that out of the question?

rinati30 wrote:

Michael and Benami thank you for answers. Unfortunately, I don't have any opportunity to move now, but I plan to move to Western Europe in several years.

When you do move, will you be looking for an Orthodox community in Western Europe? I guess my curiosity is this--is the only reason you regret converting in a Reform community because the community you live in/near now doesn't want to accept you? In other words, if you lived near a liberal Jewish community, would you be at peace with your conversion under Reform auspices? If that's the case, it will be easier to find a Reform community later in Western Europe. If not--if you simply want to live a strictly Orthodox lifestyle--then as Dena asked above, are there any opportunities to "convert" under Orthodox auspices beyond Lubavitch, which you have said doesn't want to accept you.

(Also, I placed "convert" in quotes because from most Jewish perspectives, there is no such thing as a second conversion. Once you're Jewish, you're Jewish. Except for differences between Reform and Conservative Judaism over the issue of Reform "patrilineality", the only denomination that demands you "reconvert" their way is Orthodox.)