May be starting conversion soon

My situation will probably have most of you thinking, "It'll never happen." Even I, who am basically a person who sees life as the glass is half empty most of time just knows that this is G-d's will and if it is G-d's will He certainly can take an impossible situation and make it happen.

I am 43, married for 17 years. My husband and I have six children (14, 10, 9, 6, 5, and 2.5). I was born into the Catholic Church. At 12 my parents and our whole family (I have three other siblings) became Protestant Baptist. When I turned 20 I returned to the Catholic Church. I met my husband and he converted the year we married. He was brought up in a home where his mother was Protestant (not practicing anything) and his father was Jewish, also not practicing. We are what others in the Catholic world would consider "devout" as we go to Mass every Sunday, children are in Catholic school, taught by the nuns and brothers, etc.

I can't tell you exactly how IT happened, but right after Christmas my heart just changed. I won't go into detail. I had finished reading a book called "Rena's Promise," a book about a Holocaust surviver (I have been reading Holocaust stories, accounts, history, etc for about 20 years now and when I finished and put the book down something deep down whispered, "It's time." I only confided in my sister because I thought everyone else might fear I had "lost it." To my surprise my sister (who does not go to church at all) also admitted she has also been drawn to Judaism and wanted to also know more. It was a strange coincidence indeed. I began reading books and researching and waited to talk to my husband to see if this urging would go away. As the longing grew stronger, I decided to tell my husband. I thought he would flip out and also to my surprise he did not. He seems very neutral. His first "concern" is for the children. Their entire world and what defines them is their Catholicism (we go to the Latin Mass - a much more conservative form of Catholicism).

The children no NOTHING of my searchings. I wrote to three Rabbis explaining my situation and one wrote back telling me if my husband was willing to come in with me he was willing to talk to me.

So that's where I am right now.

I foresee a very long road ahead.

Etana

Welcome Etana, it will be a long road but it took you a life time to get on it (Many bumps and bruises I am sure).

Many bumps and bruises for sure.

Even the little things tend to make me ponder - will I "look" like I fit in? I'm Irish - blonde hair/blue eyes; you know, stuff like that. I suppose superficial things like this don't matter in the end. I hope to start attending Shabbat perhaps next Saturday for the first time. It will only be my second time in a Jewish synagogue with the first being a funeral. I was told not to wear a head covering since I am not Jewish, which is ironic because as a Traditional Catholic we are required to wear a head covering every Sunday. I'll feel like something is missing for sure. :)

I think many shuls are different, the one my husband is attending in Baltimore asked him to wear a kippah out of respect. Believe me you will stand out regardless because of your self conscience, my husband and I stand out because of our race lol! In Texas we get that from locals, and yesterday my husband got followed around the Judaica store and then asked by a customer politely if he can see his purchases. The son of another customer tugged at his fathers leg and said to his dad in English that he didn't understand, that embarassed my husband. We get stares, looks and even once a lady started hollering in Hebrew to the rabbi selling us books. He now waits sometimes till no other customers are looking or there, then he help us. But he is the one that gave us the golden ticket, Tovias book which changed our lives. We don't hold nothing against him, he is kind to us and Hashem bless him. At first we got insulted or hurt, and we started cowering around Jewish people, we heard them whispering stuff like, "must be Sephardic Jews," and once when we asked at a kosher part of a store for other kosher restaurants nearby, after they laughed (assuming at us) then one said a name. We don't cower anymore because we understand that they have to gaurd and protect their way of life and the Torah. We will not give up or forget our own heritage and are proud to be Bnai Noach. We fear Hashem only. We love the Jewish people, Torahs and their sages. We have encountered many more loving Rabbis and Jewish people that have showned more kindness than we can count. People are people, so don't give up when you encounter some that don't understand where you come from or going through. This forum is filled with many troubled stories but they have succeeded in their conversion. Very inspiring ;-)

What kind of shul is it? Conservative or Reform?

etana4310 wrote:

My situation will probably have most of you thinking, "It'll never happen." Even I, who am basically a person who sees life as the glass is half empty most of time just knows that this is G-d's will and if it is G-d's will He certainly can take an impossible situation and make it happen.

I am 43, married for 17 years. My husband and I have six children (14, 10, 9, 6, 5, and 2.5). I was born into the Catholic Church. At 12 my parents and our whole family (I have three other siblings) became Protestant Baptist. When I turned 20 I returned to the Catholic Church. I met my husband and he converted the year we married. He was brought up in a home where his mother was Protestant (not practicing anything) and his father was Jewish, also not practicing. We are what others in the Catholic world would consider "devout" as we go to Mass every Sunday, children are in Catholic school, taught by the nuns and brothers, etc.

I can't tell you exactly how IT happened, but right after Christmas my heart just changed. I won't go into detail. I had finished reading a book called "Rena's Promise," a book about a Holocaust surviver (I have been reading Holocaust stories, accounts, history, etc for about 20 years now and when I finished and put the book down something deep down whispered, "It's time." I only confided in my sister because I thought everyone else might fear I had "lost it." To my surprise my sister (who does not go to church at all) also admitted she has also been drawn to Judaism and wanted to also know more. It was a strange coincidence indeed. I began reading books and researching and waited to talk to my husband to see if this urging would go away. As the longing grew stronger, I decided to tell my husband. I thought he would flip out and also to my surprise he did not. He seems very neutral. His first "concern" is for the children. Their entire world and what defines them is their Catholicism (we go to the Latin Mass - a much more conservative form of Catholicism).

The children no NOTHING of my searchings. I wrote to three Rabbis explaining my situation and one wrote back telling me if my husband was willing to come in with me he was willing to talk to me.

So that's where I am right now.

I foresee a very long road ahead.

Etana

Welcome! The journey need not be full of bumps and what I found is that if it is meant to be the pieces of the puzzle come together.