For those who have difficulty with the transliterated Hebrew and who don't have access
to Jewish libraries, most transliterated Hebrew can probably be found through Google.
If the word is critical to what I'm saying, then it is explained.
* * *
...flat and decimated...
Shalom,
I apologize that I didn't recall this story until on Yom HaKippur, but it's a good story to know and to remember.
This story goes back fourteen years ago when our firstborn son had been only some 2-3 months in the army and was given leave for Yom HaKippur. As we sat down maybe an hour before Yom HaKippur to eat our
seudat mafseket, the last meal before the fast starts, he got into an argument with his younger brother which quickly turned into swinging at each other (very uncommon for us). I succeeded in separating them without myself loosing it, but needless to say that what happened totally destroyed our mental/spiritual preparations for Yom HaKippur.
In those days I
davened (Yid: prayed) in a yeshiva in our
yishuv (settlement), and it was very, very good davening (praying), with a lot of singing and tremendous energy and to which I contributed. Now, because of what had happened at home, for the first time in my life, including before I converted, I entered Yom HaKippur totally deflated. About this there was little I could do before prayers started, but as I always put the entirety of myself into my praying I expected that my praying would restore my inspiration.
Despite that I held nothing back in my praying, I left the evening services as spiritually elevated as the floor. It only got worse. Yom HaKippur is the only Holy Day that has five prayer services:
Ma'ariv-evening,
Shachrit-morning,
Musaf-additional,
Mincha-afternoon,
Neilah-closing [the gates]. With each successive service, I strained with all my might to reach some inspiration, and nothing ever happened. I literally finished Yom HaKippur as spiritually flat and decimated as I had entered it.
It would turn out to be one of the best years of my life!?
* * *
There is a lot to this story and I do not begin to understand it myself. It is true that it was my efforts on Yom HaKippur that gave me that good year, but as too 'why'?...this is some question. Evidently the answer is related to prayer – to the reality of prayer, to the substance of prayer, and to the essence of prayer.
Blessings for a great new and sweet year,
Daniel Eliezer
* * *
[i]What I write doesn't invite comments within the topic, but I do want you to know
that all are welcome to write me should you have any questions or comments.
I can be reached at: d.e.ben.eitan@gmail.com.[/i
]
